Listen, I really don’t like Christmas presents. I think I reached this conclusion one year when I received not one, BUT TWO, hot pink, shearling-lined vests from various family members. Oh, and both of the vests were too small. Anyway, I like making things for people and I like getting gifts from family members and friends that actually know me well enough to just get me a book or some yarn. Aside from that, I wish that we could just dispense with a lot of the guilt-induced, compulsive present-giving that goes on with my extended family. 

So, today, I’m sitting at the kitchen counter when Fed-Ex delivers a huge box with “KEEP FROZEN” emblazoned across the front. Not wanting to open some sort of frozen surprise, I called my mom to see if she’d ordered it. But she hadn’t! It turned out the box contained 4 pints of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream on a ton of dry ice. My stepgrandmother sent us ice cream that we could have bought at the grocery store and probably paid, like, 50 bucks to have ten pounds of ice delivered along with it. I would appreciate the thought, but what, exactly, was the thought? However, this is the woman who gave me soap and a packet of seeds for graduation, so perhaps I should just shut up and enjoy the ice cream.